Padlocking Mounth To Mute Voice

WHAT I COME TO RECOGNIZE nowadays is that since i've decided to work and research on Black Studies, talking about African American studies in particular and trying to make connection with Africa and my transnational identity, i've noticed most of the people tried to make me beleave i was wrong. I was supposed to be wrong when testifying racism i've encountered in University and everyday life, when on the other side they had and would never encounter it. I was supposed to be wrong when trying to say that African authors deserve to be taken seriously because they made a good job in publishing books and researches about the conditions of life of Black folks. This was definitely unbeleavable in the university where most of my teachers where White and claimed they were not racist. What they tried to do is to convince me that i was the racist one to choose African and African American authors, when i should beleave their White counterparts unless i beleaved they made a bad analysis of Black conditions of living. In fact, it was no more my research and the achievements of my work that they were discussing about at the end, it was all about how to stop this legitimity of African and African American authors. Because if i couldn't rely on them, they could say that i've imagined it all and that i was fooling myself if i were not a fool, and trying to cheat as some of the m already precisely wrote it as a remark on my school works.HOW COME that they have to notice it's all about African and African American and take it like a problem and a misworking when it's not about they work relying on White authors only ? Precisely in a domain where it been a long time it has been critical to this White discourse. Some has to recognize that it's because of the black color of my skin because the real case of this counterpart of mine who is working on queers just like me or this one on postcolonial studies, when they rely on African American authors they will never be doubted to be "racist" or being wrong about their research. Even when they work is openly limited, i have come to know that mine is to got the same mark and juged the "same level". It's appears really difficult to recognize honestly when a Black student come to talk about African American authors that it has to do with achievement of a long and hard work than just with an "exotic" interest in talking about Black conditions of life. Yes, when paying to those behaviors around the achievement of a harsh and difficult investigation in talking truth with the right informations it's unavoidable to ask what if i had to be wrong and misunderstand just like this counterparts ? Will the teachers forgive me to be so ignoring and give me the same mark and juge that i have the "same level" like this White counterpart who had made a hard work for understanding Black conditions, or will they laught at me and make their best to show me how ignoring i am and how much i couldn't make this work ?FOR IF Whites can talk about Black in the university and other structures to their white counterparts when Blacks can't talk about Blacks nor even about White because they have to face a permanent trying to dismiss their work and even their presence, isn't it what we call "racisme" ? If this stance is not of a racist, then somebody come tell me how you call it ?Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. MARK TWAIN.